Just so as it's clear, I’m more of a dog person. But just putting it out there, how can you not be? Cats suck. Labs wants to take over your house, we get that. But at least they will take their human pets along for the ride. After all, we are the keeper of the cookies. All cats want to do is plan your demise and pee in your shoes. I shouldn’t even have to write this article, but if you are umm, "petly" challenged enough to be in love with a cat, please read on.
Here are six reasons why cats suck and dogs truly deserve their just title of man’s best friend. Labs in particular.
Sure a cat requires way less effort, affection or supervision, but being less demanding means also less giving. I swear, if cats could talk, they’d say “I'm being nice to you and tolerating you human, but if you annoy me, I will bring you a dead mouse for breakfast.” Labs will be glued to your side as much as they can, until they are surgically removed. Watch out where you step, especially in the kitchen or in some tight places, because you may hurt a paw, or maybe get flattened by an overzealous Lab if you are not careful. A good nickname for your Lab will always be “shadow” since they are hard to get away from.
5. Their Skills
A Lab can learn his name, do some tricks, be a therapy dog or even hunt. A cat? Let me think for a second. They can eat like a pro (so can your Lab), sleep like a log (So can your Lab) and ignore everyone within a 10 mile radius. (There is no way in Hell your Lab can). That is about the size of it. Labs demonstrate their ability to “out think” their prey and to learn and accept training. However, their curiosity and stubbornness sometimes test their trainers as the Lab may want to do things in their own way. They know what you want them to do, they just aren’t sure if now is the right time to do it . But most often they will do what they are told.
Dogs actually make it a habit to routinely guard their family and provide love. Cats only set traps for their owners, plot the end of the world and smell horrific. The only thing worse than a cat is a cat owner, but them I am biased.
4. Their Love
A La(p)b Dog
Labs will love you no matter what and will be overly excited to see you if you leave for 5 minutes or two weeks. If you are ever sad, angry, happy, etc a dog will know exactly how to act, whether it is with excitement or to comfort you when you are down. They have empathy and consideration. Your Lab will always be your biggest fan.
A cat will look at you like he’s never seen you, watch you sleep, poop in a box that YOU have to clean up and barf on your dry cleaning. No sign of love at all.
3. Their Look
Some Labs look funny, all look cute and some look goofy, but no matter what, you know they haven’t spent all day planning to murder you and your children. Make a funny noise and they’ll look all confused and cute and be ready to play in no time. But have a look at any cat… Most cats have this devilish-plotting look on their faces. All. The. Time. Talk about a resting bitch face.
2. Play time
All Labs want to do is play. Whether its with their tail, shadow, a Kleenex, ANYTHING can be a toy, how cool is that! They are one dog entertainment systems, as long as they are not feeling unwell. A Lab can double up as a mobile shower as well as an entertainment system due to their love of water. The adorable looks and cute faces they will make to try and get their way will test even the most strict of doggie parents. If you are having a bad or stressful day just call to your Lab and as they come over to see you, lay their chin on your lap, your bad mood will most likely disappear.
Have you ever tried to throw a stick to a cat ? Please try. You will be surprised at how easily you can actually see the cat thinking “Pucker up and kiss my incredibly clean a$$.”
1. Protective Nature
Whenever you are walking your dog, you feel at the very least, companionship. If a Lab sees another dog then it will let you know there is an intruder around. Same at the front door. You can't stop them guarding the place can you?. A cat, again, couldn’t care less about your safety. As long as someone is there to bring them food and pray at their altar, they don't really care who it is. Your Lab will love you forever, no question.
The Lab was bred to be a brave hunter and working dog. Always “defending” your yard from “invaders”, the brave Lab will jump into action as soon as a squirrel, rabbit, significant other, boss, or bird may get too close. As hunting dogs, they need to be busy mentally and physically. This directly influences the Lab personality as the dog can and will become bored if not exercised or engaged with.
This, unfortunately, can lead to some misbehavior on the dogs part in the way of chewing, biting, barking, etc. These negative tendencies can be reduced by regular play and exercise. The Lab can usually get out some of their energy just by playing with a ball, or bone, or even with a car ride. But NOTHING compares to water.
One caveat about cats though. If you have food it’ll defend the food not the human, every day of the week and twice on Sunday's. Point proven.
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